A Blip In Time
by obsydiandreams
Summary: The Dead Line audio, from Jack's POV.  I am fail at writing Jack...    Jack/Ianto.  mentions of Gwen, Rhys and Stella


I'm not terribly fond of this…. I think the ending is weak… but… here you have it. Dead Line from Jack's POV. I've been a bit obsessive over Dead Line lately.

Disclaimer! The boys belong to each other. It's obvious. Also, I feel the urge to steal them every once in awhile, as their handlers don't seem to know how to take care of them.

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Time... Jack knew a lot about time. He'd been all over it, from the 51st century when he was born, to the end of the universe, all the way back to the time of dinosaurs. If he could shudder right now, then he would have. Only momentarily, he had been there, but man... the humidity! Really did terrible things to one's hair. And really, no sentience just made it dull.

He'd lived through a year of hell and torture at the hands of the Master, a year which had been erased from all of time, with exception of a handful of unlucky people. He was used to being a bit out of time. He'd traveled with the Doctor, which was the definition of being out of time; and being immortal, well... _He_ was the definition of out of time.

And now, time was something that he was having far too much of. Jack had always found creative and interesting ways to use time, both physical and mental. With his brilliant mind and passion for life, Jack was kinetic energy. He never stopped moving.

Until now. Jack had become a prisoner in his own mind. He could hear everything that went on around him, but he couldn't interact with anyone or anything. The Captain had known this would happen, or at least something similar, when he picked up that phone; he'd seen the comatose patients. He just hadn't known that it would feel so... lonely. Jack was never lonely.

*Ring ring* The ancient phone had rung, despite not being connected to anything... Torchwood had counted on this. Jack picked it up and made a traditional Harkness comment... the last thing he was able to say before he fell to the ground.

_"Jack!"_ That was Ianto. He wanted to reassure his lover that he was alright, that everything was fine, but everything wasn't fine, was it. Here was Jack Harkness, comatose. He tried to raise his hand, but he couldn't. He couldn't even bloody see anything. This was already annoying and it had only been a few seconds. Jack mentally shrugged and attempted to make himself comfortable in his mind. He could hear the sounds of the outside, and then an engine starting up. Ianto must have carried him to the SUV; he wondered where he was being taken. He could hear the tones of Gwen and Ianto's voices as they talked, but it was like listening through a wall or, ironically enough, a really bad phone connection. A short while later (it was actually 14 minutes and 43 seconds, Jack had counted) he heard new voices.

"Not another one..." Must have taken him to the hospital then, made sense when he thought about it. Again, he inwardly sighed. This was really going to take some getting used to.

So many muddled voices around him... He decided that only one of them was important, and concentrated solely on Ianto's. _"He collapsed, just like the others. Now he's in a trance, like he's dead with his eyes open." _

He heard another voice, a voice that he couldn't put a name or a face to at the moment. But he was sure it was important. He'd figure it out later. Right now, it was soothing enough just to listen to Ianto. The other voices, (was that Gwen? And another woman… so familiar…) were talking about how he couldn't die. _"But if we can't reverse it; if we can't find out what did this and bring Jack back he'll be like this for eternity. Can you imagine what that's like?"_ Sadly, Jack could imagine that. He would have snorted if he could have … there were always things worse than death. He'd experienced so many of them.

Unfortunately then he lost all ability to think as pain flashed through his head. It felt like someone had lit up every one of his neurons and was firing them all off at once. He tried to hide from it, but it was throughout his brain. He frantically latched onto Ianto's voice again. Those soothing Welsh vowels… Ianto sounded scared… _"Jack, what... what's happening? Jack?"_

Oh what he wouldn't do to tell Ianto that it was ok. Granted, that was a bloody lie. It hurt like hell and wasn't stopping. He'd had headaches before… been so hung over that he couldn't stand, hell, he'd been shot in the head. All of that paled in comparison. This was utter torture. He wondered briefly if the other comatose patients could also feel it… He trusted his team though; otherwise he wouldn't have gotten into this mess. The pain stopped after a minute, and all was quiet in his brain.

Then he was hit with a different kind of hurt. Not his, but Ianto's. _"I'll stay here. I'm not leaving him. Not till you wake up, Jack. I'm not going anywhere."_ He wanted to hug the Welshman. He wanted to hold him in his arms and never let him go. Jack had been pushing his feelings for Ianto away for so long. He didn't want to admit certain things to himself… It hurt too much. He had a feeling though, that somewhere in this purgatory, he was going to end up confronting these feelings. And that worried him. Jack didn't like thinking about feelings. He liked _doing. _ Reacting.

Some short amount of time later… or it could be a long amount of time, who knew? Jack was getting really bored. He listened to Ianto and the other voice talk about brains, and neurons and little explosions. He wished that he could tell them that the little explosions REALLY hurt. Then he heard the other person leave and knew beyond all doubt that Ianto was alone with him. Gods, he could feel the hurt pouring off of the other man. The fear… fear for him? He pondered that for a minute. Ianto was scared for him. Jack was getting lost in thought when he was drawn back to Ianto's voice. The young man sounded so distraught… Jack concentrated hard on what he was saying, filing every word away. He knew that there would be a day, hopefully not soon, that he would NEED to remember this.

_They say you're supposed to talk to people when they're in a coma, don't they? _

_I have absolutely no idea if you can hear me, Jack. I never heard of anyone coming out of one of these and carrying on the conversation. So I suspect it's something the doctors tell us to do to make us feel better, rather than to help you. We don't feel so useless or helpless. We get the feeling there's still some sense of purpose in our lives. We're not just waiting. Waiting for the science to work, or the miracle to happen, or the nightmare to end. _

Jack wished that he could cry. He wished he could stand up and tell Ianto that it was ok. That he was ok. Or at the very least, Jack wished that he could indicate that he could hear the young man. Right now though, those vowels were everything that he needed.

_I'm not much of a talker Jack, you know that. But I'll talk to you now on the off chance that it helps. Just promise me that, if you're hearing this that when you come round, and you're going to Jack, you're going to come out of this; just promise me that you'll never bring up anything I say to you now. How's that? Have we got a deal?_

Ianto paused there to take a breath. A deep shuddering, tears-near-the-surface sort of breath. The sort of breath that Jack never ever wanted to hear him take ever again. He knew that he could never make that promise. He knew that whatever was coming was going to be absolutely life altering for both of them, and for once, he didn't care. He had known from the beginning that Ianto was special. He had known that the Welshman would change his life… Ianto began speaking again, and once again, Jack wished he could cry.

_This must be the longest I've looked at you and not seen you smile. I've watched you in your sleep, didja know that? Just woken up beside you in the middle of the night and watched you. _

Jack didn't but, he was going to make it a point to pay more attention to this… it should have been creepy, but it wasn't.

_So many times. Watched your eyes moving behind your eyelids as you dreamed. And wondered what a man like you could dream about. The things you've seen, the lives you've lived, people you've loved. I wondered if you were dreaming about me, I hoped you were dreaming about me… _

Jack thought about this, gods, if only Ianto could possibly know all the things he'd been through. The reoccurring nightmares, the terrible things he'd done. The Valiant. So many nightmares about the Valiant. And… the children. He could never tell Ianto these things. In between the nightmares, however, there were so many dreams about Ianto. It was when his dreams met his nightmares that the real problem began. He would have nightmares about Ianto finding out all of the things he had done, and leaving him. Jack didn't think he could handle it if Ianto left him.

And then, it really hit him. What was worrying him. When Ianto began speaking again, there were obvious tears in his voice, and it nearly broke Jack's heart.

_But let's be honest Jack. I'm ….nothing more than a blip in time for you. Every day, I grow a little older. But you're immortal. You've already lived a thousand lifetimes. How can you watch me grow old and die? How can I watch you live and never age a day? I guess we both know that will never happen. Not in this job. No one in Torchwood ever lives to draw their pension do they? Even if by some miracle I survive to see my hair turn grey, or God forbid, fall out; I don't kid myself that you'd be around to see it. Someday you'll go again, like you did before. And this time you won't be back. _

His heart was breaking for the man speaking to him. And for himself, because he knew that one day, he would have to live without Ianto. And he would give his immortality and all of his lives to just spend this life growing old with this man. This wonderful, beautiful man who was laying his heart out for Jack to see. So to speak. He could hear Ianto's voice hitch, and then grow stronger.

_Maybe that's what you're dreaming about all those nights that I watch you. Maybe that's why even when you're sleeping, I still see you smile. But you haven't gone yet Jack. I know that. I know you're coming back to me. _

And then Ianto dissolved into tears and Jack's heart shattered. He could hear the broken-hearted sobs coming from the younger man, and he understood. He needed to make things right with Ianto. How could he think that he was only a 'blip in time'? He felt so much guilt for making Ianto think that way. He was so much more than that. And Jack was startled to realize that despite his best efforts, Ianto had wormed his way into Jack's heart. Jack was in love. Jack didn't fall in love… at least not any more. It was too painful. He knew that in a few short years, he would lose that person, and be alone again. But somehow, the quiet, unassuming man who was now crying over his comatose body had broken through every defense that Jack had. And there were quite a few. Oh Jack loved people. He flirted with the world, but so rare was it that he actually fell for someone; he had forgotten how it felt. How… good it felt.

At that moment, he realized that he wasn't scared at all anymore. That when he came out, he was going to spend every waking moment showing Ianto how very much of a near explosion in time that he was. Never a blip.

He finally lost track of time, he could vaguely hear soft breathing beside his head, and figured that Ianto had finally cried himself into exhaustion. He decided to take the time to remember all of the times that he and Ianto had had together. It's how he had made it through his time on the Valiant. He sighed. He had done so wrong by his young lover. Treated him so poorly.

Some time later, Jack was pulled out of his reverie by another brain explosion. This one was worse. It lasted longer, and it really felt like his brain was trying to expand beyond his skull.

When it was over, there was a frantic note in all of the voices around him. He heard Gwen and Rhys even… It sounded like they were plotting. Just like his team to be plotting without him. Then he wondered when he had begun considering Rhys a part of his team. A mental shrug later, and he heard Ianto's tear filled voice saying his name… He saw the tears on his lovers face and blinked. Then he realized that it wasn't just a memory… That Ianto was really there in front of him. Looking at him like he was the most important thing in the world… a rare vase or something that could break at any minute. He looked like he wanted to reach out to Jack, but was so unsure.

"_Ianto?"_ Jack whispered. And then he looked around and saw, of course, the faces of his team… and Stella… Gods, when was the last time he saw her… _"Someone wanna tell me what's going on?"_

After his exam (he threw in some patented Jack Harkness banter for good measure), Gwen, Stella and Rhys left, and he was alone with Ianto. He didn't know what to say…. He wanted to tell Ianto that he loved him. He wanted to hold him and never let him go. But he didn't know how. Jack… Jack Harkness… was uncomfortable. He laughed internally; this was nearly as bad as when he had asked Ianto out on that date. The things this man did to him….. So many wouldn't believe it. _"So didja talk to me while I was out of it? They say that's what you should do…" _He tested the waters a bit.

"_I talked, a little. I'm not much of a talker. That's just me" _

"_Yeah…" _Jack had never actually made that promise… _"But you never will just be a blip in time, Ianto Jones. Not to me"_ Ianto looked up sharply at that. Jack saw something akin to fear in his eyes and before Ianto could run, like it looked like he wanted to, Jack took him by the arm, pulled him close and kissed him tentatively. Ianto sighed softly and gave into the kiss like he needed it to survive. And who knows, maybe he did. They pulled apart briefly, because, sadly they both needed oxygen to survive too. And when they did, Jack looked Ianto in the eyes, locking identical tear-filled blue on blue. He touched their foreheads together and spoke so quietly that even in this proximity, Ianto nearly missed it. _"I love you, Jones, Ianto Jones. So much it hurts."_ And then neither of them said anything, for a very long time.

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Comments are like breath and love. Both are things that I need right now.


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